Aubies turn away now and do not read this. You'll be disappointed to find no pictures to copy and paste to your stale emails making fun of Alabama's new head Coach (or our dead one). You won't find "Sabear" as you call him, propped against a goal post next to a ghostly figure of Coach Bryant. Newsflash...AL fans know that we won't win every game in 2007. However we do know we have an awesome coach. But we need no reminders from a team that was nearly upset by a PAC 10 team (oops, that is wrong) I mean a BIG 12 team last Saturday of how to play a ball game or what to expect this season. Most of us aren't naive enough to think that simply because we have a signature coach, super practices, filled with mental, as well as physical conditioning, that it guarantees a winning season and a shot at a national championship.
We are simply proud. Proud to be excited about football once again. We're also proud of Bear Bryant for what he made Alabama football and the legacy he left behind. What's not to cherish? But a mockery of the University by claims that we worship a dead coach, I think is scraping the bottom of the bad joke barrel. To make fun of a University and a football program who has contributed so greatly to this state and to it's sports history, is tasteless and low-rate humor of anyone. (crickets ...)
Is it humanly possible for our state rivals to understand that Alabama Football is about tradition and pride, the same pride they have for their school and coaches? Okay, I was on drugs two seconds ago when I asked that.... Of course they can't understand, they have no PRIDE or TRADITION in Auburn. If they do, where is it? Was it Shug Jordan?? Does the average person even know? They don't have any statues erected of them, do they? That must be why we get so much grief about the statues In T-town. Aubies are jealous because they have no statues. Finally, I understand. And to think all this time.... Do they have a statue of Bo down there? No, again. He must not have been so important either. They do, however, have a LCD, big screen at the stadium. (applause, applause)
I'm sick of hearing our coach referred to as the 'Thirty million dollar Coach". It is what it is ... and isn't that between him and the University? Sure, it's public knowledge but can you stop now... please? That horse is dead already. It's just money...His money and it cannot buy AL a championship. So -get over it already...and careful Auburn, your envy is showing. I'll just throw up if I hear the media call him The thirty Million Dollar Coach again or read it in another forward/ email from my Auburn friends. (hey guys, we've seen Saban as The Bear (100 times) NOT FUNNY ANY MORE! Saban has been Jim Carey and even mirrored as Chuck Norris ... I would be willing to bet if you tracked those emails they'd all originate to some poor soul sitting in a small office down in Opelika with nothing better to do than screw with photoshop to superimpose Saban's face to the likes of Bear, Jesus and Elvis. Those silly little pictures of Coach Saban dressed like Bill Lumbergh from the movie "Office Space" and Jim Carey in "Liar Liar", hey guys....try again....Those aren't funny either. Who's next? Is this like the movie Groundhog Day? Because I feel like I've been beat with a monotony stick with all those stupid Saban emails. Show me AL Borges' face on Rosey O'Donnell, jello- wrestling Michael Vick. That, for a moment might make me smile..... Auburn fans need to concentrate on their team's inability to play a football game the first three quarters instead of what they're doing down in Tuscaloosa today. Jealousy is not very becoming.
Roll Tide anyway.
Nurse Jenny
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Dog Days In Alabama
I am only happy when it rains...Or so it seems. It's a great song and it pretty much sums up my attitude. Especially since it's been in the triple digits here in the South. These are the dreaded dog days... I hate the hot, humid, hazy late Summer days in AL. It's downright miserable. These are the days when I long for Fall...those pretty blue sky, seventy-something degree days where you can actually take a stroll, work in the yard, cook out with friends and ponder...football. Yes, football season is upon us...with days away, all the trash-talking has begun. Just today I got an email titled "weather update" that I'll share;
CNN NEWS SPORTS & WEATHER According to a study to be published on Friday, two of the world's leading climatologists have gone on record saying that the extreme heatin the Southeast is not a result of global warming. The two Swedish experts have identified the source of the heat as being centralized inthe great state of Alabama. According to their findings, it is a localized phenomenon that has occurred 9 times in the last 25 years. Apparently, every time the University of Alabama hires a new footballcoach the collective hot air espoused from the "Bama Nation" about National and Conference championships and premature recruiting"commitments" actually causes a significant increase in air temperatures in the Southern US. The study went on to confirm that the naturalp rogression of the following events will cause the heat wave to subside rather rapidly after the first of September.
The first of September is "D" day. The first game that launches us directly into the throws of twelve Saturdays of sheer bliss. Saturdays of awakening to my husband in and out of the house, clad in his lucky Bama shirt and hat on backward asking me if it's too early for a beer? (before I've even had my coffee). It runs in our veins, the heart- stopping plays you long to see, the turn overs, the sacks... And this year, the anticipation of what kind of team will hit the turf under our new head coach, Nick Saban. I've heard him called everything from, Uncle Nicky, "Sebear", Nick the Almighty, Seban the Savior. I don't care what you call him, the man deserves some respect. I'm sure none of it truly bothers him but it's typical mostly of the Aubies to label him out of spite....After all they go on and on about how over-rated our new coach is, that he doesn't have as good a winning record as Tubby, yet all the while it's SO obvious that jealousy and envy are seeping from their pours. So with the above email, I dug and found a post on an AL forum from Tommie Mac. The question was, Auburn scared or just jealous?? Tommie Mac so brilliantly answered and I couldn't have said it better;
"I don't know if they're scared, but you can bet your hat and arse that they're more than a tad apprehensive. And they should be. It's gonna be a whole different thing going against CNS coached teams rather than against Shula's badly coached, badly conditioned versions.""As for jealousy, they've ALWAYS been obsessively jealous of BAMA. Don't believe it? Just go to a barner forum and witness their hatred and vitriol of all things ALABAMA. They know that they'll never be able to accomplish even a fraction of what BAMA has and it constantly eats at them. That's why they put more importance on beating us than any other accomplishments on the field. They know that without those wins, they'll revert back to just being allbarn, i.e. insignificant."
Whoops, did he say insignificant?? (bursts of laughter) I love it!! And I received lots of kudos for a great pot stir today! I think I may have lost a lunch date over that one. That's just part of it, love it or hate it...or love to hate us. It's SEC football.but mostly ALABAMA FOOTBALL!! And it's just 15 days away...In my heart I don't think that we'll be disappointed in Alabama football. Coach Saban seems genuine, no frills, no fuss- no muss and absolutely no nonsense kind of man. He's admirable, there's no doubt. Just don't ask him how practicing in the heat is and if you want to carry half an ass home just ask him about Karate. This season's going to be exciting for sure. It's nice to get excited about football again. Roll Tide!
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2:13:00 PM
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CNN NEWS SPORTS & WEATHER According to a study to be published on Friday, two of the world's leading climatologists have gone on record saying that the extreme heatin the Southeast is not a result of global warming. The two Swedish experts have identified the source of the heat as being centralized inthe great state of Alabama. According to their findings, it is a localized phenomenon that has occurred 9 times in the last 25 years. Apparently, every time the University of Alabama hires a new footballcoach the collective hot air espoused from the "Bama Nation" about National and Conference championships and premature recruiting"commitments" actually causes a significant increase in air temperatures in the Southern US. The study went on to confirm that the naturalp rogression of the following events will cause the heat wave to subside rather rapidly after the first of September.
The first of September is "D" day. The first game that launches us directly into the throws of twelve Saturdays of sheer bliss. Saturdays of awakening to my husband in and out of the house, clad in his lucky Bama shirt and hat on backward asking me if it's too early for a beer? (before I've even had my coffee). It runs in our veins, the heart- stopping plays you long to see, the turn overs, the sacks... And this year, the anticipation of what kind of team will hit the turf under our new head coach, Nick Saban. I've heard him called everything from, Uncle Nicky, "Sebear", Nick the Almighty, Seban the Savior. I don't care what you call him, the man deserves some respect. I'm sure none of it truly bothers him but it's typical mostly of the Aubies to label him out of spite....After all they go on and on about how over-rated our new coach is, that he doesn't have as good a winning record as Tubby, yet all the while it's SO obvious that jealousy and envy are seeping from their pours. So with the above email, I dug and found a post on an AL forum from Tommie Mac. The question was, Auburn scared or just jealous?? Tommie Mac so brilliantly answered and I couldn't have said it better;
"I don't know if they're scared, but you can bet your hat and arse that they're more than a tad apprehensive. And they should be. It's gonna be a whole different thing going against CNS coached teams rather than against Shula's badly coached, badly conditioned versions.""As for jealousy, they've ALWAYS been obsessively jealous of BAMA. Don't believe it? Just go to a barner forum and witness their hatred and vitriol of all things ALABAMA. They know that they'll never be able to accomplish even a fraction of what BAMA has and it constantly eats at them. That's why they put more importance on beating us than any other accomplishments on the field. They know that without those wins, they'll revert back to just being allbarn, i.e. insignificant."
Whoops, did he say insignificant?? (bursts of laughter) I love it!! And I received lots of kudos for a great pot stir today! I think I may have lost a lunch date over that one. That's just part of it, love it or hate it...or love to hate us. It's SEC football.but mostly ALABAMA FOOTBALL!! And it's just 15 days away...In my heart I don't think that we'll be disappointed in Alabama football. Coach Saban seems genuine, no frills, no fuss- no muss and absolutely no nonsense kind of man. He's admirable, there's no doubt. Just don't ask him how practicing in the heat is and if you want to carry half an ass home just ask him about Karate. This season's going to be exciting for sure. It's nice to get excited about football again. Roll Tide!
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by Jenny
2:13:00 PM
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1 – 1 of 1
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Homage to the Hokies
Its been some time since I've taken time to post. I enjoy talking about things...bouncing things around, pitching them, putting them on a screen and off my mind for perhaps anyone (hopefully) to read and enjoy. Last week was a somber week for the entire US. The VA Tech massacre was ....I don't even have words.... I can only think and shake my head in saddened disbelief. We were all touched by that day in some way.
What's on my mind today?? Copycat crimes after a major event. The whole copycat "bomb threat/ terrorist threats" on High Schools that have peppered the US since the VT massacre. As if it isn't hard enough to watch on television and imagine how horrific that was for everyone involved, we have Idiots, self-centered, spoiled- ass brats that play on the increase tensions and fears from the recent attack in VA in THEIR VERY OWN SCHOOLS. When I was in school, if you had a problem, you talked to a friend, wrote a note, talked to your parents or prayed. Now, you make a threat, act goofy and try to get attention...
If I only had a day with schools ...I'd call students in for mandatory assembly. I'd lay it down for them all. I'd stand and look at each face and simply ask," If you even think for a second...any ONE of you wants to harm another or yourself, let me make myself clear....If you so much as even make a problem or even walk down the halls with a distasteful smirk on your face...You're ass is GONE to Juvie camp. So today my friends, you're invited to JUST LEAVE! Here's your chance... If you want to cause havoc, you can, but you can't do it here. There's the door, Hit the road! GET THE HELL OUT! If you want to stay, and enrich your life, learn and promote yourself to become someone some day, I invite you to stay...Will you stay or will you go?"
Its sad that schools have become a literal battle ground. Our Country went wrong a long time ago (I think I'm old enough to say since I was there when they did it) Schools should have the right to paddle some asses!!!!...And maybe, just maybe problems would be solved early on and on a much lower level that when they go so far out of your control you're standing around scratching your head and asking..."How did this happen?"..and " How could we have prevented it?" SMACK THEIR ASSES!!! Discipline doesn't have to be abuse...It's called RESPECT! And it starts at home.
On a much lighter note...ahhh it's springtime. I wish I was at home right now, digging in the dirt in my yard...making things pretty; potting plants, pulling weeds, sipping on a cold beer with XM blaring.... That would be a good day's work. I have Gerber Daisies to plant, along with some variegated ground cover to put in the large bed. I grew some wild flowers, Morning Glories and Sunflowers from seeds and their going in this week. It's soothing days like this past Saturday playing in he yard, that I love...Those days are few and very far between. It didn't hurt that it was 80 degrees and not a cloud around. So nice...The only thing that would have been better was being off work another week to do it all over again.
Well that's all the venting I have time for. Do something nice for someone today! Random acts of kindness; cut your neighbors yard, buy your friend a book or flowers....let someone know their important in your life. You never know when it might turn their day, week or even their life around, if only for a moment....That's all i think...I'll leave you as I usually do.
Today's Focus: God rest the souls of the victims and bless the families of the VA Tech Massacre and the family of Cho Sung Hui. You are not forgotten.
Today's Phrase: "Open a can of whoop ass". Typically a very Southern phrase. You don't hear it much anymore...but it holds great meaning. My Mom used to say, " Jennifer Anne, I'm gonna whoop your little ass". And she did!
My Daily Dose;
Don't stand over people and read their email. That's rude and could be hazardous to your health. I need a fly swat to turn around and smack the shit out of my boss when he comes in and 'acts' as if he isn't reading my email. "SMACK....oh i'm sorry...I didn't see you standing there reading my fu*!%#$# email".....
Do: Quickly close the screen or switch to a program with a page of documents that will bore even the most ADD man you've ever worked with to tears.
Take Care of your kids...No one else will.
Nurse Jenny
What's on my mind today?? Copycat crimes after a major event. The whole copycat "bomb threat/ terrorist threats" on High Schools that have peppered the US since the VT massacre. As if it isn't hard enough to watch on television and imagine how horrific that was for everyone involved, we have Idiots, self-centered, spoiled- ass brats that play on the increase tensions and fears from the recent attack in VA in THEIR VERY OWN SCHOOLS. When I was in school, if you had a problem, you talked to a friend, wrote a note, talked to your parents or prayed. Now, you make a threat, act goofy and try to get attention...
If I only had a day with schools ...I'd call students in for mandatory assembly. I'd lay it down for them all. I'd stand and look at each face and simply ask," If you even think for a second...any ONE of you wants to harm another or yourself, let me make myself clear....If you so much as even make a problem or even walk down the halls with a distasteful smirk on your face...You're ass is GONE to Juvie camp. So today my friends, you're invited to JUST LEAVE! Here's your chance... If you want to cause havoc, you can, but you can't do it here. There's the door, Hit the road! GET THE HELL OUT! If you want to stay, and enrich your life, learn and promote yourself to become someone some day, I invite you to stay...Will you stay or will you go?"
Its sad that schools have become a literal battle ground. Our Country went wrong a long time ago (I think I'm old enough to say since I was there when they did it) Schools should have the right to paddle some asses!!!!...And maybe, just maybe problems would be solved early on and on a much lower level that when they go so far out of your control you're standing around scratching your head and asking..."How did this happen?"..and " How could we have prevented it?" SMACK THEIR ASSES!!! Discipline doesn't have to be abuse...It's called RESPECT! And it starts at home.
On a much lighter note...ahhh it's springtime. I wish I was at home right now, digging in the dirt in my yard...making things pretty; potting plants, pulling weeds, sipping on a cold beer with XM blaring.... That would be a good day's work. I have Gerber Daisies to plant, along with some variegated ground cover to put in the large bed. I grew some wild flowers, Morning Glories and Sunflowers from seeds and their going in this week. It's soothing days like this past Saturday playing in he yard, that I love...Those days are few and very far between. It didn't hurt that it was 80 degrees and not a cloud around. So nice...The only thing that would have been better was being off work another week to do it all over again.
Well that's all the venting I have time for. Do something nice for someone today! Random acts of kindness; cut your neighbors yard, buy your friend a book or flowers....let someone know their important in your life. You never know when it might turn their day, week or even their life around, if only for a moment....That's all i think...I'll leave you as I usually do.
Today's Focus: God rest the souls of the victims and bless the families of the VA Tech Massacre and the family of Cho Sung Hui. You are not forgotten.
Today's Phrase: "Open a can of whoop ass". Typically a very Southern phrase. You don't hear it much anymore...but it holds great meaning. My Mom used to say, " Jennifer Anne, I'm gonna whoop your little ass". And she did!
My Daily Dose;
Don't stand over people and read their email. That's rude and could be hazardous to your health. I need a fly swat to turn around and smack the shit out of my boss when he comes in and 'acts' as if he isn't reading my email. "SMACK....oh i'm sorry...I didn't see you standing there reading my fu*!%#$# email".....
Do: Quickly close the screen or switch to a program with a page of documents that will bore even the most ADD man you've ever worked with to tears.
Take Care of your kids...No one else will.
Nurse Jenny
Friday, December 29, 2006
Happy New Year!
Hi friends,
It looks like UA will start the new year without a head coach... it's really OK and for what it's worth, Maybe they should KEEP JOE KINES on the job. Bama didn't look bad last night... Now if they could only get that 60 lb bullfrog out of his throat, we'll be cooking with gas. Roll Tide!!
It's nearly New Years time...One has to ponder....What will we do for New Year's Eve?? How will we spend it..."What we gonna eat"? Is it really that big of a deal? Well-Somehow I'm coaxed into believing so...I hate all the parties, the New Year's Packages, Dance Club's, free taxi rides, etc...I can't see myself all gussied up, dragging myself into a bar where you're asked to pay $150.00 per person for someone to plan your night; complete with a colorful blow horn and plastic champagne flutes filled with nasty Korbel bubbly. Ewww...NO thanks.
I envision the perfect New Years a little like this; My husband and I go to an exclusive restaurant downtown. We have a great bottle of wine, appetizers, maybe sushi...More wine...A small but delectable dinner...More wine....Then we taxi back to our room at a nice hotel (Ross Bridge)...Hang out at the bar with friends..dip into the jacuzzi and watch a great movie, some sparkling white wine and a nice kiss at midnight....That's my kind of New Year's Eve.. Let's not forget a little "play time and breakfast in bed" the next morning!! Oh yeah! You have to ring in the new year right. Who wants to feel like doo- doo from drinking draft beer and reek of 'bar' on New Years Day?? I'm done with those days.
Have have a safe and Happy New Year's Eve and my best to you for a happy healthy new year! I'll leave you, as I usually do....
Focus: Resolutions; To resolve or not to resolve? Are you really going to keep it? Do you really need to change something so badly you have to declare on Jan 1??? I don't get the whole new year's resolution thing. I've never really stuck to one, so I resolve to just Enjoy myself, unwind, watch some good movies and sleep on Jan. 1, not beat myself up by making of list on how to improve.
Do: Eat your Black eyed peas and Collard Greens..Always heard it's good luck and brings you a lucrative new year.
Don't: Swap germs with someone you don't know for that Midnight Kiss...It's flu season and for all you know they let their dog lick them in the mouth.
Daily Advice: Shitty New Years Parties; Avoid them! Don't go to that bar on the corner that hoists a large vinyl sign that reads "New Year Party and Karoke."... That's a map to Suxville. You'll just end up leaving with someone whose less than attractive and may end up giving you Chlamydia. That is not what you had in mind for New Year's, was it? So, stay home, pop some popcorn and watch the Seinfeld marathon on TBS. You'll thank me in the morning when you're out painting the town and all your friends are dying from being overserved, literally.
Happy New Year!
NuRsE JeNny
It looks like UA will start the new year without a head coach... it's really OK and for what it's worth, Maybe they should KEEP JOE KINES on the job. Bama didn't look bad last night... Now if they could only get that 60 lb bullfrog out of his throat, we'll be cooking with gas. Roll Tide!!
It's nearly New Years time...One has to ponder....What will we do for New Year's Eve?? How will we spend it..."What we gonna eat"? Is it really that big of a deal? Well-Somehow I'm coaxed into believing so...I hate all the parties, the New Year's Packages, Dance Club's, free taxi rides, etc...I can't see myself all gussied up, dragging myself into a bar where you're asked to pay $150.00 per person for someone to plan your night; complete with a colorful blow horn and plastic champagne flutes filled with nasty Korbel bubbly. Ewww...NO thanks.
I envision the perfect New Years a little like this; My husband and I go to an exclusive restaurant downtown. We have a great bottle of wine, appetizers, maybe sushi...More wine...A small but delectable dinner...More wine....Then we taxi back to our room at a nice hotel (Ross Bridge)...Hang out at the bar with friends..dip into the jacuzzi and watch a great movie, some sparkling white wine and a nice kiss at midnight....That's my kind of New Year's Eve.. Let's not forget a little "play time and breakfast in bed" the next morning!! Oh yeah! You have to ring in the new year right. Who wants to feel like doo- doo from drinking draft beer and reek of 'bar' on New Years Day?? I'm done with those days.
Have have a safe and Happy New Year's Eve and my best to you for a happy healthy new year! I'll leave you, as I usually do....
Focus: Resolutions; To resolve or not to resolve? Are you really going to keep it? Do you really need to change something so badly you have to declare on Jan 1??? I don't get the whole new year's resolution thing. I've never really stuck to one, so I resolve to just Enjoy myself, unwind, watch some good movies and sleep on Jan. 1, not beat myself up by making of list on how to improve.
Do: Eat your Black eyed peas and Collard Greens..Always heard it's good luck and brings you a lucrative new year.
Don't: Swap germs with someone you don't know for that Midnight Kiss...It's flu season and for all you know they let their dog lick them in the mouth.
Daily Advice: Shitty New Years Parties; Avoid them! Don't go to that bar on the corner that hoists a large vinyl sign that reads "New Year Party and Karoke."... That's a map to Suxville. You'll just end up leaving with someone whose less than attractive and may end up giving you Chlamydia. That is not what you had in mind for New Year's, was it? So, stay home, pop some popcorn and watch the Seinfeld marathon on TBS. You'll thank me in the morning when you're out painting the town and all your friends are dying from being overserved, literally.
Happy New Year!
NuRsE JeNny
Thursday, November 30, 2006
HEAD COACH WANTED, is there anybody OUT there???
Whooo what a week! UA is STILL trying to a new coach...But Spurrier? Is he coming to T-town? HELL NO!!! Can everyone just hang on a freakin' SECOND??- OK.....I'm a realist...And I love AL football..Yes, but we've had a "quagmire" sort of football season -none the less I'm still a fan. Quite devoted too, but COME ON! STOP the nonsense about Spurrier. Does anyone really know what is going on? And if so you can't find it on the damn internet. GET REAL and let's get sane. I'll admit, I've fallen victim to email forwards, RUMORS cranking' left and right and HOPE It's probably not...(hang on) water...glunk... Choke down the pill......Ahhhhh. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! And I'm okay. Get me a coach that can work with coordinators and win more games than not. I'm a happy girl. Rich Rodriguez At UA?? The RODster...HOT ROD. Looks sexy enough to be Head Coach to me! COME ON DOWN!!!!
I I feel better, now....ONTO the AUbies. WTF is up with all of ya'll? Can't we all just get along? I mean, guys (and gals) COME ON!...Ya'll won the Iron Bowl...You got your Thumb statue...So why all the glum faces?...The green with envy and hater rebuttals to the Shula firing and speculation of a big name Coach at UA?? Didn't AUburn nearly fire Tubby a few years back over a less- than- optimal season? POOR GUY...HOLD ON on before that throbbing vein in your forehead bursts....Let me pay homage to AU...That was the time when AU nearly fired Tubberville and and rumors were cranking out that Auburn Athletics were pursuing another coach. He handled it so well...with class, class that I didn't know he had. That's when I knew Tommy Tuberville was a stand-up guy. That is when I figured out, hey this guy, just because he from that '"school down the road"has a huge heart. When I saw him cry on national television, I saw the pain and dedication in a man that no game could otherwise instill.
So, with that said, let me appeal to AUbies because you know where we are right now. You've been down this road. I personally don't feel sorry for Shula. Not after a season of sheer disappointment and agony; play after play (Whiskey after Whiskey) hoping and praying..."DON'T....NO -don't run it... Up.... The....AHHAHAHAHAAA DAMNIT SHULA! "...My heart (and kids) can't bear another season like 2006. We needed a change. We need a better COACH! So ya'll hang on and don't be so harsh. Understand that we deserve a decent Coach no matter what the price. Don't be haters....and yes we've still got a very long way to go no matter who ends up in Tuscaloosa, we need no reminders!!
I'm shutting up about the whole debaccal...and leaving it be. OK...weekend coming up....bowl games, stuff...cold weather and ahhhh hey it's almost CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll leave you as I normally do...I hope everyone is well.
Focus: Hangovers, aviod them! Don't mix diet colas or artifically sweetned sodas and alcohol (Dr. Manny Ramirez, FNN) Our liver needs a certain amount of sugar to metabolize alcohol. Calorie counters mix diet colas, low cal soads etc. in beverages.(I'm so guilty) and it's not a good thing! Avoid hangovers by hydrating (before that Cocktail party, down 16 oz of aquafina, disani, etc..) and eat! Eat a small meal before you indulge and snack while having beverages. Don't over- do- it this holiday season.
Don't : Drink and drive..that isn't cool. Get a cab, get a ride or stay on a sofa till dawn. DUI's aren't cool...and face it you don't look good in orange.
DO: Something nice for someone this Christmas, pick up a wish list for a senior or kid in need...Drop off $20 to a food shelter; It feeds more people than you realize. (Jimmy Hale MIsion/Jessee's Place Bham, AL)
Daily advice:
Take care of your LOVER...or some one else will.
Nurse Jenny
I I feel better, now....ONTO the AUbies. WTF is up with all of ya'll? Can't we all just get along? I mean, guys (and gals) COME ON!...Ya'll won the Iron Bowl...You got your Thumb statue...So why all the glum faces?...The green with envy and hater rebuttals to the Shula firing and speculation of a big name Coach at UA?? Didn't AUburn nearly fire Tubby a few years back over a less- than- optimal season? POOR GUY...HOLD ON on before that throbbing vein in your forehead bursts....Let me pay homage to AU...That was the time when AU nearly fired Tubberville and and rumors were cranking out that Auburn Athletics were pursuing another coach. He handled it so well...with class, class that I didn't know he had. That's when I knew Tommy Tuberville was a stand-up guy. That is when I figured out, hey this guy, just because he from that '"school down the road"has a huge heart. When I saw him cry on national television, I saw the pain and dedication in a man that no game could otherwise instill.
So, with that said, let me appeal to AUbies because you know where we are right now. You've been down this road. I personally don't feel sorry for Shula. Not after a season of sheer disappointment and agony; play after play (Whiskey after Whiskey) hoping and praying..."DON'T....NO -don't run it... Up.... The....AHHAHAHAHAAA DAMNIT SHULA! "...My heart (and kids) can't bear another season like 2006. We needed a change. We need a better COACH! So ya'll hang on and don't be so harsh. Understand that we deserve a decent Coach no matter what the price. Don't be haters....and yes we've still got a very long way to go no matter who ends up in Tuscaloosa, we need no reminders!!
I'm shutting up about the whole debaccal...and leaving it be. OK...weekend coming up....bowl games, stuff...cold weather and ahhhh hey it's almost CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll leave you as I normally do...I hope everyone is well.
Focus: Hangovers, aviod them! Don't mix diet colas or artifically sweetned sodas and alcohol (Dr. Manny Ramirez, FNN) Our liver needs a certain amount of sugar to metabolize alcohol. Calorie counters mix diet colas, low cal soads etc. in beverages.(I'm so guilty) and it's not a good thing! Avoid hangovers by hydrating (before that Cocktail party, down 16 oz of aquafina, disani, etc..) and eat! Eat a small meal before you indulge and snack while having beverages. Don't over- do- it this holiday season.
Don't : Drink and drive..that isn't cool. Get a cab, get a ride or stay on a sofa till dawn. DUI's aren't cool...and face it you don't look good in orange.
DO: Something nice for someone this Christmas, pick up a wish list for a senior or kid in need...Drop off $20 to a food shelter; It feeds more people than you realize. (Jimmy Hale MIsion/Jessee's Place Bham, AL)
Daily advice:
Take care of your LOVER...or some one else will.
Nurse Jenny
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
My Very Own Pooper
It's been 2 LONG years...And I'm back...I'm new Nurse Jenny now...Still the same old girl but boy has my life changed! I had a baby. A boy...So now that I've spawned and helped populate the earth it's time for me once again! Besides I love to write about a little of nothing...It's entertaining and well, just good for the soul.
I reflected on old posts today (Influenced by my good buddy Jammin' Jimmy C) and thought hmmm...It's time to update the old blogger. I left you with thoughts of Fall Daze and the Straight Pipe Story. So here you go...
Well- just this morning I was complaining to my hubby, Dr. Draper (reference Straight Pipe post) about having to share the Master Bath with everyone. ... It smells of BOYS! Everyone uses it as the "pooper"! I need my privacy- my very own pooper! I have an inner need to be ALONE for my bath time!! And be able to put on mascara without the stench of 20 minutes ago poop aroma...And echoes of, "Damn baby, those Jalepenos we ate last night are burning my tale pipe- WHEW!!"...For the LOVE of GOD can someone bulldoze the back my house and make room for Nurse Jenny her own shitter? Complete with automated "I'm in the shower right now, please step away from the door"...Message that sounds with the slightest tappy, tap- tap on the door. AHHH! ...I can dream can't I?
Ok, it's been wonderful to CHAT TODAY!!! I hope you all are great and had a wonderful Turkey Day. I, along with my kids and hubby have the Jamunjee Flu...OK not really but it's rough flu-like, mucus filled head, hacking and feeling like dying sort of gunk and it nearly ruined Thanksgiving. But none the less I cooked all the trimmings... Still had much to be Thankful for.
I leave you with the usual.
Focus: Handwashing; Did you know that 8 out of 10 people don't wash their hands after leaving the restroom. Can I say that's just nasty. Then the next thing you know, you're popping down peanuts at a bar from the Petri dish of nuts there on the bar with all your friends who don't' wash their hands either....(barf bag please) WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!!!!!! A LOT!!!!! Don't get the Jamunjee Flu. (yeah don't go Google that, it really isn't a Flu)
Don't: Rub Vicks on your chest when you're sick, then rub your eyes...You haven't lived until your eyeballs are numb.
Do: See your doctor if you're sick. With the winter months ahead, you may find yourself on the sofa wanting your Momma. Sadly you can get sick from germs you got simply by turning a doorknob or pushing that filthy cart at the grocery. (see Focus) You may need medical attention for a cold or flu. He or She can give you the good stuff they don't sell down on the corner at Wallgreen's. HC Tussin is the way to go...It knocks a out a tough cough out in no time and you'll never sleep so good! Feel better when you're sick, you deserve it.
Take care of yourself, no one else will.
I reflected on old posts today (Influenced by my good buddy Jammin' Jimmy C) and thought hmmm...It's time to update the old blogger. I left you with thoughts of Fall Daze and the Straight Pipe Story. So here you go...
Well- just this morning I was complaining to my hubby, Dr. Draper (reference Straight Pipe post) about having to share the Master Bath with everyone. ... It smells of BOYS! Everyone uses it as the "pooper"! I need my privacy- my very own pooper! I have an inner need to be ALONE for my bath time!! And be able to put on mascara without the stench of 20 minutes ago poop aroma...And echoes of, "Damn baby, those Jalepenos we ate last night are burning my tale pipe- WHEW!!"...For the LOVE of GOD can someone bulldoze the back my house and make room for Nurse Jenny her own shitter? Complete with automated "I'm in the shower right now, please step away from the door"...Message that sounds with the slightest tappy, tap- tap on the door. AHHH! ...I can dream can't I?
Ok, it's been wonderful to CHAT TODAY!!! I hope you all are great and had a wonderful Turkey Day. I, along with my kids and hubby have the Jamunjee Flu...OK not really but it's rough flu-like, mucus filled head, hacking and feeling like dying sort of gunk and it nearly ruined Thanksgiving. But none the less I cooked all the trimmings... Still had much to be Thankful for.
I leave you with the usual.
Focus: Handwashing; Did you know that 8 out of 10 people don't wash their hands after leaving the restroom. Can I say that's just nasty. Then the next thing you know, you're popping down peanuts at a bar from the Petri dish of nuts there on the bar with all your friends who don't' wash their hands either....(barf bag please) WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!!!!!! A LOT!!!!! Don't get the Jamunjee Flu. (yeah don't go Google that, it really isn't a Flu)
Don't: Rub Vicks on your chest when you're sick, then rub your eyes...You haven't lived until your eyeballs are numb.
Do: See your doctor if you're sick. With the winter months ahead, you may find yourself on the sofa wanting your Momma. Sadly you can get sick from germs you got simply by turning a doorknob or pushing that filthy cart at the grocery. (see Focus) You may need medical attention for a cold or flu. He or She can give you the good stuff they don't sell down on the corner at Wallgreen's. HC Tussin is the way to go...It knocks a out a tough cough out in no time and you'll never sleep so good! Feel better when you're sick, you deserve it.
Take care of yourself, no one else will.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
My, it's been too long. I've been so busy with work, football, etc. That I haven't had an idle moment to post again. Thank you Jammin' Jimmy for your slap on the hand comment about The Straight Pipe post...I am just being honest and you know, I thought it was humorours. I had no intension of disgusting anyone. TOUGHEN UP JIMMY! :)
I love music...all sorts and lately I am on a John Cougar Mellencamp- kick. He perfomed for the Friday Concert Series on the Today Show recently. I missed it! DANGIT! But I grew up listening to John and love, love, love his music. Jack and Diane, PLAY GUITAR!....I Need a Lover That Won't Drive Me Crazy, Pink Houses and I could go on and on...You know that would be a rockin' concert and I think I'd travel far and wide to see him play. He defines all around good Rock and Roll to me. It doesn't hurt that he is easy on the eyes, too.
The website for you John Mellencamp (or Cougar whichever you prefer to call him) says that there's been talk of a tour, but no dates yet. They will post any info forthcoming. www.johnmellencamp.com
Halloween is almost here! I've been watching the Monsterfest on AMC this week. Isn't there something so fun about getting the living poop scared out of you? I think I referenced this in a previous post. Sorry, I saw a bit of Scream II last night...Amittyville HOrrOr and Halloween 4 and 5. There's still nothing like the first and second Halloweens. It all went to crap after those.
I hope everyone is feeling well and has a safe and fun Halloween. Oh and there's on 54 days of Christmas shopping! Get with it so you won't be broke as shit by 12/25/04.
Stay tuned...We'll be singing Christmas Carols and giving out tips on gifts for that hard to shop for jerks name you drew at the office. I think I'll post that after a couple of my Mullingspice Cider and brandies. I'll post that recipe, too. It's a great fire-side drink to warm your cockles this winter....Talk about a night-cap.
Focus: Halloween Candy; No one gives out the good stuff anymore. Pixie stix, Super Blow Bubble gum, ZOTZ - remember those?, Charms Pops ( the blue ones), Red Hots, Space Dust, Gobstoppers, even that orange and black wax papered maple candy...and little packages of candy corn...I lived for halloween!
Get in touch with the kid in you. Eat some candy this Halloween!
Phrase: You're Craaaaaaaaaazy Maaaaaaaaaaan. (Will Ferrell in Old School after he get's shot in the neck with a tranquilizer gun...Hahaha! love it.)
Don't: Mix Space Dust and Red Bull. That could hurt...
Do: Mix Mtn Dew Red and Skyy Vodka. What a great fruity, caffeine- charged adult beverage.
I love music...all sorts and lately I am on a John Cougar Mellencamp- kick. He perfomed for the Friday Concert Series on the Today Show recently. I missed it! DANGIT! But I grew up listening to John and love, love, love his music. Jack and Diane, PLAY GUITAR!....I Need a Lover That Won't Drive Me Crazy, Pink Houses and I could go on and on...You know that would be a rockin' concert and I think I'd travel far and wide to see him play. He defines all around good Rock and Roll to me. It doesn't hurt that he is easy on the eyes, too.
The website for you John Mellencamp (or Cougar whichever you prefer to call him) says that there's been talk of a tour, but no dates yet. They will post any info forthcoming. www.johnmellencamp.com
Halloween is almost here! I've been watching the Monsterfest on AMC this week. Isn't there something so fun about getting the living poop scared out of you? I think I referenced this in a previous post. Sorry, I saw a bit of Scream II last night...Amittyville HOrrOr and Halloween 4 and 5. There's still nothing like the first and second Halloweens. It all went to crap after those.
I hope everyone is feeling well and has a safe and fun Halloween. Oh and there's on 54 days of Christmas shopping! Get with it so you won't be broke as shit by 12/25/04.
Stay tuned...We'll be singing Christmas Carols and giving out tips on gifts for that hard to shop for jerks name you drew at the office. I think I'll post that after a couple of my Mullingspice Cider and brandies. I'll post that recipe, too. It's a great fire-side drink to warm your cockles this winter....Talk about a night-cap.
Focus: Halloween Candy; No one gives out the good stuff anymore. Pixie stix, Super Blow Bubble gum, ZOTZ - remember those?, Charms Pops ( the blue ones), Red Hots, Space Dust, Gobstoppers, even that orange and black wax papered maple candy...and little packages of candy corn...I lived for halloween!
Get in touch with the kid in you. Eat some candy this Halloween!
Phrase: You're Craaaaaaaaaazy Maaaaaaaaaaan. (Will Ferrell in Old School after he get's shot in the neck with a tranquilizer gun...Hahaha! love it.)
Don't: Mix Space Dust and Red Bull. That could hurt...
Do: Mix Mtn Dew Red and Skyy Vodka. What a great fruity, caffeine- charged adult beverage.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Fall Daze...
Today's Saturday...It's a beautiful Fall day in the South...ahhh Saturday. My favorite day to frolic, get busy doing errands, house chores, shopping..It's MY DAY. My hubby's playing golf and I have the day to myself. I wish we had Saturdays twice a week. Don't you agree that Americans should have four day work weeks? I'd work four 10 hour days to have a three day weekend. I think there are parts of the world that do this? Not sure...
Halloween is close. I love this time of the year, the weather is changing, the leaves are beginning to change as well. Those crisp Autumn days with big blue skies and temps dipping, just does something to my soul. I feel most alive in the fall and springtime.
Halloween is a spooky time and there's something cool about getting the living poop scared out of you. I love to turn on the typical spook-fest flicks on AMC or Turner South. As always Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween plays 48 times during October, but somehow I never get tired of it. "Run girl....Run....And don't go into that closet!"....Doesn't she fall like a hundred times trying to get away from Michael?...We know the fate of Jamie Lee, but it never seems to get dull. It's my favorite of all of the spooky movies...What are yours? I'd like to watch something different this time around.
Well, I don't have too much today. I feel rested, ready to tackle the day, so I'll get to it.
Don't: Hide in the closet when there's someone chasing you with a butcher knife. They're going to find you and the chances of you getting out unscathed are slim.
Do: Pick up that loaded 45 from safekeeping, point, aim and scream... "Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!" (I love that quote)
Focus: Who the hell is Ralph Nader and where did he come from. Why won't he just give up?? I'm not politically knowledgeable, but I keep hearing this man's name and mentioned as a candidate for races...I don't get it?
Phrase: "It's on like... Donkey Kong!"
That's all, Take care of your guns...No one else will.
NuRsE jEnNy
Halloween is close. I love this time of the year, the weather is changing, the leaves are beginning to change as well. Those crisp Autumn days with big blue skies and temps dipping, just does something to my soul. I feel most alive in the fall and springtime.
Halloween is a spooky time and there's something cool about getting the living poop scared out of you. I love to turn on the typical spook-fest flicks on AMC or Turner South. As always Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween plays 48 times during October, but somehow I never get tired of it. "Run girl....Run....And don't go into that closet!"....Doesn't she fall like a hundred times trying to get away from Michael?...We know the fate of Jamie Lee, but it never seems to get dull. It's my favorite of all of the spooky movies...What are yours? I'd like to watch something different this time around.
Well, I don't have too much today. I feel rested, ready to tackle the day, so I'll get to it.
Don't: Hide in the closet when there's someone chasing you with a butcher knife. They're going to find you and the chances of you getting out unscathed are slim.
Do: Pick up that loaded 45 from safekeeping, point, aim and scream... "Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!" (I love that quote)
Focus: Who the hell is Ralph Nader and where did he come from. Why won't he just give up?? I'm not politically knowledgeable, but I keep hearing this man's name and mentioned as a candidate for races...I don't get it?
Phrase: "It's on like... Donkey Kong!"
That's all, Take care of your guns...No one else will.
NuRsE jEnNy
Thursday, October 14, 2004
The Straight Pipe
The straight pipe. Three words that pretty much sums up 'bowel disorder' or free flowing loose bowels...yes, I know it's disgusting but it's life. We all crap. We all get runny noses and have diarrhea and we all pretty much put our panties on the same way.
My hubby, I'll call him Dr. ED Draper, is precious and I love him, but he can't chew gum without having to take a shit. I bet he goes at least four times a day. I am almost convinced he has the straight pipe. I go once a day. That is really enough for me. Whose to say what is the "normal" number of times...I really don't care, just so long as it doesn't start interrupting our 'together time'..."Oh honey...oh baby...oh... I gotta shit... Sorry honey"...That won't work. But I do have some gripes to speak of.
I guess what bothers me most is the mornings. It never fails, every morning when I shower...He creeps in the bath hoping I won't hear him coming in... He quietly but quickly skurries into the bath hoping to get in and do his business before I can complain. Something about the odor of human feces and steam from a shower just doesn't go hand in hand. Calgon, take me away!!!....Far, far away.... I can't even choke my coffee down after that scouring. It's scary that something so smelly can come from someone so precious and SO MANY TIMES A DAY.
Now, I am not claiming that mine "doesn't smell"...I just don't parade in the bath while he's showering to do my thing. In fact, I don't even want the cat in the bathroom with me when I go. That's my PERSONAL time. I mean I know it stinks, I certainly don't need anyone else to tell me.
Maybe I can encourage Dr. Draper to indulge in more dairy products like cheese....Cheese is binding. Yeah! Ed needs "binding" for his bunghole.
Ahhhh I feel better, how about you?
Ok, I hope everyone is feeling good today. It's almost Friday so everyone eat right and rest well for the weekend so you can really tie one on for Football Saturday! Roll Tide!!!
That's what Saturdays are all about in the southland and we wouldn't have it any other way. Is there another way?? I don't wanna go.
Focus: Sleep; If you lose sleep, do you ever really catch up? Hmmmmmmmm?
Quote of the day:
"You damn Skippy!!" i.e; Are you going to watch some football this weekend Nurse Jenny? "YOU DAMN SKIPPY"... What does Skippy mean anyway?
Don't: Wash your clothes with towels...They make little balls on your garment. I said little balls...heh.
DO: take your stuff to the cleaners and let them take care of it...Life's too short to stand around and iron. June Cleaver is dead.
That's all, I'll post again soon.
Take care of your colon, No one else will.
Nurse Jenny
My hubby, I'll call him Dr. ED Draper, is precious and I love him, but he can't chew gum without having to take a shit. I bet he goes at least four times a day. I am almost convinced he has the straight pipe. I go once a day. That is really enough for me. Whose to say what is the "normal" number of times...I really don't care, just so long as it doesn't start interrupting our 'together time'..."Oh honey...oh baby...oh... I gotta shit... Sorry honey"...That won't work. But I do have some gripes to speak of.
I guess what bothers me most is the mornings. It never fails, every morning when I shower...He creeps in the bath hoping I won't hear him coming in... He quietly but quickly skurries into the bath hoping to get in and do his business before I can complain. Something about the odor of human feces and steam from a shower just doesn't go hand in hand. Calgon, take me away!!!....Far, far away.... I can't even choke my coffee down after that scouring. It's scary that something so smelly can come from someone so precious and SO MANY TIMES A DAY.
Now, I am not claiming that mine "doesn't smell"...I just don't parade in the bath while he's showering to do my thing. In fact, I don't even want the cat in the bathroom with me when I go. That's my PERSONAL time. I mean I know it stinks, I certainly don't need anyone else to tell me.
Maybe I can encourage Dr. Draper to indulge in more dairy products like cheese....Cheese is binding. Yeah! Ed needs "binding" for his bunghole.
Ahhhh I feel better, how about you?
Ok, I hope everyone is feeling good today. It's almost Friday so everyone eat right and rest well for the weekend so you can really tie one on for Football Saturday! Roll Tide!!!
That's what Saturdays are all about in the southland and we wouldn't have it any other way. Is there another way?? I don't wanna go.
Focus: Sleep; If you lose sleep, do you ever really catch up? Hmmmmmmmm?
Quote of the day:
"You damn Skippy!!" i.e; Are you going to watch some football this weekend Nurse Jenny? "YOU DAMN SKIPPY"... What does Skippy mean anyway?
Don't: Wash your clothes with towels...They make little balls on your garment. I said little balls...heh.
DO: take your stuff to the cleaners and let them take care of it...Life's too short to stand around and iron. June Cleaver is dead.
That's all, I'll post again soon.
Take care of your colon, No one else will.
Nurse Jenny
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
I am feeling especially silly today...
Hi, I'm nurse Jenny, not by trade... at least anymore, but that name suits me because I am a nurse, but I don't wish to partake in that occupation anymore. Nurses (the females) are really hard to work with...witches actually. I am not a witch, just another adverage everyday girl that works in an office or we'll say 'the cop shop'. My name is acutally Jenny, but what does it matter "you can call me Roy or you can call me"....whatever...
My "Daily Dose" may consist of health advice ranging from hang-over help to PMS to getting your spouse to stop calling you a hundred times a day. The best tampons to buy, what girls hate, why guys are jerks... Take or leave my advice, I am not a professional, so you're taking my advice in a fun sort of way. In other words don't try this at home. Don't be STOOPID as my son likes to say...
It's after Five O'clock and I've just finished off a bag of pork skins courtesy of my friend Jammin' Jimmy C..Thanks Jimmy and you can unload on me anytime. See JC Ramblings Blog...
Focus today:Don't you agree that religious art shouldn't be posted in an office building?
That should get a response...(Don't be STOOPID)
Today's phrase: "OH MY ACHING JOHNNY"...my Grandad always says that...I still don't know what he meant...Maybe it's a Southern thing.
My Daily Dose:
Don't shoot Maker's Mark and eat scrambled eggs. Icky, Icky, messy experience.
Do Drink Red Wine, it's yummy and it freaks people out when your teeth turn purple. It puts me in my...happy place. Try Liberty School Cabernet..
I think that is it...i'll post again later.
Take care of yourself, no one else will.
Nurse Jenny
My "Daily Dose" may consist of health advice ranging from hang-over help to PMS to getting your spouse to stop calling you a hundred times a day. The best tampons to buy, what girls hate, why guys are jerks... Take or leave my advice, I am not a professional, so you're taking my advice in a fun sort of way. In other words don't try this at home. Don't be STOOPID as my son likes to say...
It's after Five O'clock and I've just finished off a bag of pork skins courtesy of my friend Jammin' Jimmy C..Thanks Jimmy and you can unload on me anytime. See JC Ramblings Blog...
Focus today:Don't you agree that religious art shouldn't be posted in an office building?
That should get a response...(Don't be STOOPID)
Today's phrase: "OH MY ACHING JOHNNY"...my Grandad always says that...I still don't know what he meant...Maybe it's a Southern thing.
My Daily Dose:
Don't shoot Maker's Mark and eat scrambled eggs. Icky, Icky, messy experience.
Do Drink Red Wine, it's yummy and it freaks people out when your teeth turn purple. It puts me in my...happy place. Try Liberty School Cabernet..
I think that is it...i'll post again later.
Take care of yourself, no one else will.
Nurse Jenny
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