The straight pipe. Three words that pretty much sums up 'bowel disorder' or free flowing loose bowels...yes, I know it's disgusting but it's life. We all crap. We all get runny noses and have diarrhea and we all pretty much put our panties on the same way.
My hubby, I'll call him Dr. ED Draper, is precious and I love him, but he can't chew gum without having to take a shit. I bet he goes at least four times a day. I am almost convinced he has the straight pipe. I go once a day. That is really enough for me. Whose to say what is the "normal" number of times...I really don't care, just so long as it doesn't start interrupting our 'together time'..."Oh honey...oh baby...oh... I gotta shit... Sorry honey"...That won't work. But I do have some gripes to speak of.
I guess what bothers me most is the mornings. It never fails, every morning when I shower...He creeps in the bath hoping I won't hear him coming in... He quietly but quickly skurries into the bath hoping to get in and do his business before I can complain. Something about the odor of human feces and steam from a shower just doesn't go hand in hand. Calgon, take me away!!!....Far, far away.... I can't even choke my coffee down after that scouring. It's scary that something so smelly can come from someone so precious and SO MANY TIMES A DAY.
Now, I am not claiming that mine "doesn't smell"...I just don't parade in the bath while he's showering to do my thing. In fact, I don't even want the cat in the bathroom with me when I go. That's my PERSONAL time. I mean I know it stinks, I certainly don't need anyone else to tell me.
Maybe I can encourage Dr. Draper to indulge in more dairy products like cheese....Cheese is binding. Yeah! Ed needs "binding" for his bunghole.
Ahhhh I feel better, how about you?
Ok, I hope everyone is feeling good today. It's almost Friday so everyone eat right and rest well for the weekend so you can really tie one on for Football Saturday! Roll Tide!!!
That's what Saturdays are all about in the southland and we wouldn't have it any other way. Is there another way?? I don't wanna go.
Focus: Sleep; If you lose sleep, do you ever really catch up? Hmmmmmmmm?
Quote of the day:
"You damn Skippy!!" i.e; Are you going to watch some football this weekend Nurse Jenny? "YOU DAMN SKIPPY"... What does Skippy mean anyway?
Don't: Wash your clothes with towels...They make little balls on your garment. I said little balls...heh.
DO: take your stuff to the cleaners and let them take care of it...Life's too short to stand around and iron. June Cleaver is dead.
That's all, I'll post again soon.
Take care of your colon, No one else will.
Nurse Jenny
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3 comments:
I don't know if I'll be able to continue to read your blogs if you make such foul suggestions and comments. "BALLS"?!?! Such Trash! And I would appreciate it if you left my colon out of this. I take perfectly good care of my colon. It's just sensitive.
Skippy was the name of a Kangaroo that had it's own TV show. It was a bit like the Australian version of Lassie.
With a large number of immigrants to Australia, people of foreign origin were given nicknames, like wog (Italian), pom (English), seppo (American), dago (Greek), kraut (German) etc. In typical Australian fashion, these terms were not always derogatory.
Australians were called skippy's in return, meaning that they were as Australian as the Kangaroo on TV.
Not sure if this was the context used, but if the person who used it was Australian or had been to Australia, it is a possibility.
The other possibility is a reference to the bumbling fool, Skippy Handelmann, the neighbour in the 80's sitcom "Family Ties".
Kevin Paine
www.healthfraudoz.blogspot.com
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So much for my thinking Nurse Jenny was a Southern Lady. My image has been SHATTERED! Talking about bodily functions is fine for nurses when they are in a private room with a patient, but I don't want to read about someone else's defecation habits. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to give this issue a .5 star out of 5 and rate it MA for mature audiences only.
Stick to something you know and are good at talking about like how you baby your son and are going to make him grow up to be another Jeffery Dahmer. When I see on the news in 15 years that they raided his house and found a freezer full of half-eaten body parts, I'll chuckle and say "I told you so"!
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